Don't chase after Perfection

If you've been through days when you wake up feeling like crap and all you want is to isolate yourself from the world, then this post is for you. Although I thought I have had my insecurities under control since I have been kinder to myself. Some days I just fall apart and feel extremely awful and hollow on the inside. I don’t like the way I look; I don’t like my attitude; I wish I was more intelligent, and I dislike myself for all my failures. Days like these happen to everyone and that’s okay.

We all know that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. However, no matter how hard we try we still can’t shake it sometimes. We look at other people and see everything we're not. We see their beauty, their passion, their character, they are everything we wish we were. When we see people leading a perfect life with perfect bodies, perfect relationships, and perfect careers, we start to doubt ourselves and criticise ourselves. However, keep in mind that as perfect as the others might seem, behind all the facades you don’t know the negative side of their story and their past. They also have insecurities despite how perfect you think they are; they also feel lost even though they look like they have their life planned out. You’re so good at so many things but unfortunately, you cannot see it because you’re too focused on your imperfections. To someone else you’re exactly the person they wish they were, you’re beautiful, you’re passionate, you’re talented. So, don’t feel lesser than other people, don’t undermine the progress you have made to become the person you are today.

Chasing after perfectionism is unrealistic and unhealthy. Perfectionism isn’t self-improvement, it is about earning society’s approval and silencing ourselves to fit in. When you fail to become what the society expects you to be, you start to blame yourself and hate yourself, you feel inferior and insignificant. When you fail to achieve your goal, you feel stupid and you tell yourself that you’re not good enough and you should’ve known better. When your physical appearance doesn’t match society’s standard of beauty, you feel ugly and shameful. This shouldn’t happen especially since perfectionism is highly subjective, just like how some people are willing to pay an extreme amount for a piece of artwork but some people might think that the artwork is nothing extraordinary. We are all different and not correlated. We may be on the same path but we are heading to different destinations. We might have been through similar dark days, but the timespan and the method we used to pick ourselves up and to push through everything life throws at us are not identical. Nobody is the same, so stop comparing yourself to others.

We are human, we all have cracks and imperfections. Instead of worrying about getting judged by other people, we should remind ourselves that we are more than enough. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break and appreciate the beauty of cracks and flaws. I know it’s easier said than done but remember that you will always belong to yourself. This is your life. Decide who you want to be, what you want to do and where you want to go. There’s no need to justify or explain your decision to anyone. If dressing in a particular style makes you feel confident, then do it even if your style isn’t trendy. If you want to try out something new, do it instead of worrying about what others might think, take this opportunity to try it out or you might regret later. Figure out what matters to you, the values that are important to you. Encourage yourself to be a better version of yourself, be who you have always wanted to be instead of what the society expects you to be.

The next time you want to shut yourself and hide from the world. Have the courage to step out, give yourself a chance to turn the bad day into a good day. You never know what lies ahead, perhaps the day isn't as bad as you think. Don't isolate yourself in a small space where you'll constantly be in the same mindset that you're not good enough, not perfect enough. You need to push yourself to do certain things to get out of the dark shadow. Self-love isn’t an easy journey, it takes time to heal, to accept yourself and to mend your heart. Think of it as the snakes and ladders board game, you move up to the top of the ladder but you also slide down to the bottom of the snake, but eventually you'll reach the highest square on the board. Where you are right now is not where you will end up, so keep pushing yourself and bloom into different beautiful versions of yourself. One day, when you can live on your own terms and love on your own terms, you will find happiness and peace.

You are a beautifully imperfect masterpiece regardless of what everyone may say.