Don't Sweat the Small Things

Hey ya! It’s the first day of March. Let’s just take a moment to think about the following questions. How many 10 seconds have you wasted getting angry or frustrated over things that don’t matter? How many 10 seconds have you spent being unhappy or unsatisfied over results that don’t matter? How many 10 seconds have you thrown away being annoyed over things that have little or zero association with you?

It’s so easy to get caught up in the many irritations of life in this fast-paced moving world. Every day we will encounter some bumps that steal 10 seconds of our happiness. For example, somebody at work or school says something that we don’t like or when we met a rude driver on the road, or when we made a mistake that causes a delay, or a friend not responding to a text right away, the list goes on and on. These events usually last for 10 seconds but we hold on to them for hours and longer. We tend to get obsessed over little bits and pieces. We waste too much energy and too much time getting upset and infuriated over trivial things.

As I grow older and as I spent more time with myself, I learned to slowly embed the concept of ‘Don’t Sweat the Little Things’ into my life. It wasn’t easy. It’s not like instant coffee where we can just add boiling water and coffee is served! I didn’t implant this system into my life in a second. It was a series of continuing letting go, reflecting, opening up my heart and my mind to something greater. I think the most important idea we should all have for us to not sweat over the little things is to acknowledge that everything in life is temporary. Good things won’t last forever, and bad things shall past.

Everybody knows that we shouldn’t sweat over little things but it’s much easier said than done. So, here are some of the ways that may help you along your way.

1. Recognize that stress doesn’t create change

We tend to overdramatize and overreact to life’s myriad tribulations. We tend to treat everything as an emergency even though it’s not. Hence, we often magnify problems and make them seem even harder to deal with. Everybody has experienced disappointment, injustice and annoyance in some ways during work or school. For example, not achieving the results we would like, not getting the outcome like we expected it to be and not getting recognised for the effort you’ve put into your work. These things happen to everybody and it’s about how you view these problems. You can either magnify these things and let these things stress you out or you can mitigate these things and move on. It’s your choice whether you want to do your work anxiously and stressfully or calmly and composedly. Stressing out isn’t going to change the situation. You’re wasting time trapped in your own bubble, complaining what’s wrong and reinforcing the little problem instead of taking legitimate action to change.

2. Focus on what we can change

Less thinking and more action! Be more intentional with how you’re spending your time and energy. Stop the negative thinking and move forward. Life is way too short to spend it at war with yourself, beating yourself up over and over about every little thing in life. Negative self-talk will not magically make everything better. What happened, happened. You can’t change that. No amount of self-hatred can, so instead of standing there when the clock is ticking, choose to move forward with your life. You cannot go back in time and change things, but you can change the future. You learn from failures. The effort you put in hasn’t gone to waste. Don’t avoid the problems, accept the problems with open arms and take actions to make a change. Remember that your hard work will pay off.

"We can truly be successful only at something we’re willing to fail at. If we’re unwilling to fail, then we’re unwilling to succeed" - Mark Manson

3. Let go of fear

It's undeniable that there will be highs and lows in anything and everything we do. Majority of the time we sweat the small stuff because we are driven by the fear of not doing enough, of not living up to the person you thought you could become, the fear of becoming stagnant in life. I get anxious and stressed over things sometimes because I’m scared that I couldn’t be as good as I was and that will made me seem like I’m getting worse and declining. By letting go and giving myself more flexibility and more room to grow, I finally acknowledge that some successes are impossible to replicate. Even if it seems like you’re stagnant and not improving, you’re still moving, just like how we rarely notice a plant growing but they are growing little by little every day. Acknowledge how far you’ve progressed and celebrate how far you’ve come. You’re not everything you want to be yet, but you’re more than who you were yesterday and you’re still on your journey. Live in harmony with yourself and with the world around you. Create a balance where you’re content with your current situation but at the same time, you’re still striving for improvement.

4. Discover the values that are most important to you and learn to prioritize

Values are your highest priorities and the driving force that will push you in the right direction. When there is not enough of what you value in life, you will feel disheartened and unsatisfied. It's important to choose good values and know what values are important to live by. This allows you to only care about things that matter, things that will improve the state of your well-being and things that generate happiness. When you have good values, you will not sweat over little things, you will not make your life more difficult by emphasizing on things that don't matter. When you know your values, you will be more compassionate and accepting. You're able to get over things quicker instead of sweating the little things because you know what's significant to you.

5. Look from different perspectives

When we are dealing with negative emotions and stress, it’s easy to see things from only one angle. Remove yourself from the negative bubble. You will be able to think and see clearer. You will realise how little the worries are and recognize how unnecessary it is to sweat over these things. When we change our perspectives, our problems will seem more controllable and our lives will be more peaceful.

6. Set a time limit

You can be positive and still experience dark days. Sometimes things happen in life where we will get affected because we care so much. It’s okay to stress, to feel angry, to feel annoyed, to feel sad, to feel empty, to feel lost. There will be times when you might not even understand what is going on or why you feel a particular way or why a certain situation brings out negative emotions. Let yourself feel and identify what may have caused your emotions state. Once you've figured out the root cause of the emotions you're feeling, set a time limit so you won't be trapped in the misery forever. You can set the time limit ranging from a few minutes to a few days depending on how much the things matter to you. Once the time is up, you need to move on and let it go.

Like I previously said, everything in life is temporary. The good or the bad, the big or the small things, they won't last forever. Though we can’t choose how life mysteriously unravels itself, we can choose to roll with the punches gently, to become more flexible and adapt to the circumstances. Stop sweating over little things that are not life-threatening.

Imagine yourself as a professional photographer, the camera is in your hand. It's up to you whether you want to take a close up shot or a medium shot. It's up to you whether you want to take a picture from eye-level, low-angle or high-angle. It's up to you whether you want to zoom in to focus on the details of the object or to zoom out to reduce the size of the object you're shooting.

“The key to a good life is this: If you’re not going to talk about something during the last hour of your life, then don’t make it a top priority during your lifetime.”- Richard Carlson