Embrace change and uncertainty

Hello guys! I hope you are doing well. Sorry, I've been MIA. Years seem to fly by, it’s crazy that we are entering a new decade already, 2020! Whether you have made new resolutions or simply just thought of some positive changes you’d like to make, I’m here to share my approach to a new year.

I’ve had a fair share of ups and downs in the past, but the last few months of 2019 hit me real hard. You know how sometimes when one thing goes wrong in your life, it affects every single aspect of your life? Except, it wasn’t because of one thing but it was a series of problems that were springing up like mushrooms. I was constantly in the darkness trying to figure out where I am, where I need to go, what I need to do, who am I trying to be, etc. As soon as I manage to untangle the knots in my head and can finally catch a breather, another problem pops up. In other words, I was experiencing “when one door opens, another door shuts”. I was emotionally depleted and felt like it’s going to last forever.

“Don’t tell me you’re doing fine, even as an outsider I can’t imagine the load on your shoulder. If I was in your situation, I’m not even sure if I can cope. You’re doing amazing.” These words touched my heart deeply. I suddenly felt like I’m not so bad after all, I did okay. At that moment, I told myself that I’ve taken enough time to feel all the negative emotions, it’s time for me to get out of this big bubble of darkness. I reflected and jotted down every problem I was facing as well as the things that I’m not content with no matter how big or how small the thing is.

DIRECTION, this is the biggest devil that was tormenting me. It’s the root cause of all the bigger troubles that were making me sad. To give you some context, I was a firm believer in planning my life (although I believe in destiny and faith too). I have a big picture of how I’d like my future to be, what I’d like to do, and the accomplishments that I’d like to achieve. I had a very clear path in mind for many years and everything was smooth with only a few small bumps along the road. Until in recent years, the path that I imagined collapsed. I had no choice but to take a completely different direction. I was lost. I was afraid to walk the new path because I wasn’t sure where it’ll lead to. I wasn’t sure if this was the right path for me and if I was doing the right thing.

My approach to 2020: To take life as it comes. To embrace change and uncertainty.

Life is full of uncertainties and changes. No matter how much you plan, things won’t always go according to plan. So, instead of planning my life, I’m going to take life as it comes. If life is going to be so unpredictable with things coming up and go, I’m just going to ride along wherever it’s leading me. I’ll live my life the best I can with what I have at that moment.

Be open to changes. A lot of things change over time. Our appearance changes, our habits changes, our attitude changes, our lifestyle changes. Change is normal. You’re not a failure if you change direction, you’re simply pivoting to something else that’s prepared for you. You’re not a failure if you didn’t do the thing you set out to do, you’re simply taking on another path that might suit you better. It’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to start over, it’s okay to drop out if things don’t work for you.

I know it’s scary not knowing the success rate of the journey you’re embarking. If you’re like me, scared of falling behind (aka kiasu), it’s easy to feel pressured and overwhelmed when people around you are moving faster than you, achieving big things and hitting milestones in life, especially when you’re clueless of the destination you’re heading or you’re just getting started. It’s okay, don’t let this unnecessary pressure consume you. Everyone takes their day at their own pace. Don’t blindly rush through things, think about the long-term game. Just because you’re going slow or if you started later than other people, that doesn’t mean you’ll fail. Remind yourself that ‘slow and steady wins the race’ just like the moral of the story “The Tortoise & The Hare”.

Navigating life is difficult since life is not a straight path, it’s a continual process of iterations, trial and errors, pivoting and changing. This encapsulates so much of what life is. So, trust yourself and move forward with faith. It doesn’t matter how many pauses and restarts you need to take. As long as you’re engaging yourself and living your life with the principles you believe in, everything will piece together. You will get to where you belong eventually even if you don’t know where that is yet. The path is already there, you just need to walk it with courage.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it”- Eckhart Tolle