Lessons learned from solo travel#1

I can go on and on about how much I've grown from all my solo travel experiences. In the next few posts, I'll be sharing some of the greatest lessons I've learned.

1. I learn to love myself and take charge of my own life

We are often told to be kind to others, but we forgot the importance of being kind to ourselves. Growing up, I always think that I'm not pretty enough or I'm not smart enough like people around me. The one thing that I truly love about myself is my optimistic personality, my ability to put a smile on someone's face and to make someone happy. Hence, I've always put others' needs before my own so people will like me. I feel happy when I make someone feel better; I feel disappointed when I failed to help. In other words, I have subconsciously placed my happiness in others' hands.

Since solo travel has allowed me to be who I want, to do what I want and to discover who I am, I started to care less about what others think of me. Instead of constantly trying to blend in and be a crowd-pleaser, I began to let myself be known. Solo traveling means spending quality time with yourself and soaking up the beauty of things around you. For me, it is as simple as having a glass of wine or rose with my meal (I had wine every day for my entire trip in Portugal, ops!) or enjoying the scenery during long train rides to get greater peace of mind.

How many times have you looked at photos on Instagram and be like "Damn, how can she look so effortlessly beautiful?" , "I wish I could be like her/him", "I want to have a nice body like him/her" etc. At the beginning of my solo adventures, I was criticising myself for looking like a potato in the photos taken, so I stopped taking photos of myself. Although I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, I still do it sometimes. However, I don't blame social media for making me feel this way. I mean social media platforms won't shut down just because I'm not happy with how I look, it will always be there no matter what. So look at it this way, if you can't control the things in life, then take control of how you see it and how you feel about it. I find disconnecting from technology has helped me to live my life to the fullest. I barely use my phone when I travel, I don't even reply to Whatsapp unless it's important.

I'm sure your dermatologist has told you not to touch or squeeze your pimple and let it heal on its own. It's the same concept. The irresistible urge to pop your pimple is just like the alluring need to pick out your flaws. IT'S NOT GOOD! So, don't pick on your wounds, don't constantly fight them, but instead embrace your flaws and accept them. From talking to strangers and receiving random compliments, I realised that just because you don't like some parts of you, does not necessarily mean other people dislike them too. People might see your imperfections as beauty. Remember, you are the biggest critic of your life.

Loving yourself does not make you narcissistic or selfish. It's not wrong or weird to put yourself ahead of others sometimes. A lot of people are more capable of loving others than loving themselves; they are better at taking care of others than taking care of themselves. If you relate to this, start loving yourself now by taking little steps, it's never too late. Yes, it is not an easy or straightforward process, you have to go through twists and turns and it will take a long time, but when you can love yourself and take charge of your own life, you will come out as a stronger individual.

Wherever you are in the world, you'll always have yourself.