Self-care

Let’s take a moment to reflect. Think about the time you’ve spent on devaluing yourself, thinking that you’re not good enough. Think about the time you’ve wasted on nitpicking and criticising your flaws and imperfections, hiding traits of yourself that don’t fit the standards of society. If your answer is too often, too long. Then, this post is for you.

It’s time for us to learn to be kinder to ourselves, take care of ourselves and to love ourselves. It’s time to drown out the hypercritical noises in our head, take pride in who we are, what we have and what we do.

If you’ve known me for a while, you’d know I’m all about that self-care and self-love hehe :) So, I’ll be sharing my two cents on how I’ve incorporated self-care and self-love into my lifestyle, actions that can be implemented into your lifestyle too!

1. Morning routine

Remember those days when you’re late to work/school because you kept hitting the snooze button? The rest of the day just feels like the clock is chasing after you. The feeling of harried, stressed and anxious— definitely unpleasant. A morning routine can help you start your day on a good note and set the tone for the rest of the day. It can also improve days that are horrible from the start, making it more bearable to push through.

I’m an early bird so waking up early doesn’t take too much of an effort. For the past couple of months, I’ve added a new element- home brewing into my morning routine, it has been an incredibly therapeutic experience. I realised ever since I incorporated that to my morning routine, I was able to accomplish more and become more productive. I’m an amateur home brewer, but the experience of brewing coffee is very satisfying. The whiff of grounded coffee beans, the process of slowing pouring water over grounded beans in concentric circles, the sight of coffee dripping off from the filter. Everything makes me feel grounded and calm.

Then, I’ll start journaling while enjoying my cuppa. I know, you must be thinking, journaling really? Journaling is one of those things that I’ve set out to do for ages, but it usually just falls flat on my face after a few weeks. I used to invest in beautiful planners and put in the effort to keep them aesthetically pleasing, but slowly they become more of a hassle rather than a pleasure. So, instead of purchasing those really beautiful and costly planners that I don’t finish using, I chose to stick to a simple lined paper journal, and it’s going well so far. The main purpose of journaling is that it serves as an anchor to my day, helps me kick off the day with intention, track my day-to-day activities and mood.

Having a morning routine can help you feel on top of things and in control. Unfortunately, there’s no one size fits all approach, what works for me might not work for you since different people have different priorities, commitments, needs and wants. If you’re someone who needs to have a plan or you’d feel anxious and nervous, then try writing a to-do list and plan out your day; if you’re someone who gets energised through physical activities, then wake up earlier to go to the gym, go for a run or as simple as completing a 10 minutes workout at home; if you’re someone who needs a boost of inspiration to start the day, try listening to podcast and reading; If you’re someone that wakes up feeling paranoid and hurried, try meditation or listen to music that makes you feel lighter and grounded. Remember, if you weren’t able to keep a consistent routine, you haven’t failed, it’s just that you haven’t found something that works for you. So, keep experimenting until you find a routine that resonates with you. It shouldn’t feel like a chore, it should create happiness that you can carry with you all day long, make you feel more relax and energised.

Care for yourself. Love yourself, you’re your own best friend that is always there to help, guide and be kind. Love yourself first and everything else falls into life. You have to love yourself to get anything done in this world- Lucille ball

2. Make time for yourself

Self-care is a habit that helps you lead a more successful and balanced lifestyle. There’s no established prescription for how to do or when to do or how long to do it for. Despite the various commitments that we have in life, it is very important to make some time for ourselves, to do things that we enjoy and to incorporate some nourishing and sustainable changes in our lifestyles. The excuse of not having time is only a trivial excuse. If we prioritise ourselves, we will carve out the time to do things that make us feel good, even if it’s as short as a few minutes.

It can be as simple as sitting at the balcony soaking up the rays of sunshine, or walking outdoors enjoying the beauty of nature, or simply being mindful while you’re having your meal. Just being fully present, focusing on yourself and nothing else. Think about what you enjoy doing, what you loved as a child and what makes you happy. Do something that makes you feel relaxed and composed. Some of the things that enlighten my mood on days I feel meh includes spending time in my favourite café, doing some grocery shopping alone, reading a book, a slow jog, baking and cooking. Recently, I've started investing more time in my skincare routine, the ritual and putting time and energy into taking care of myself makes me feel calm and better about myself.

If you have more time, consider taking a trip somewhere. It doesn’t have to be a luxurious trip, you don’t need to go somewhere far. A short one or two days getaway from the hustle and bustle of the city can surprisingly give you back the energy that’s been depleted, make you feel recharged and ready to take on greater challenges! Sometimes, all we need is a different environment just to catch a breather and veer away from our normal schedules.

Don’t feel guilty when you’re giving yourself some free time. Self-care isn’t a waste of time. It helps to restore your inner strength, unplug and ponder the best ways to move forward in life. It decreases the likelihood of feeling burned out and lethargic, reduces the chances of mood crashes, prevents yourself from hating everything you do. When you're well-rested, you will be more productive because a clearer mind can help you figure out how to get the most out of those precious 24 hours in a day. In order to perform at your optimum, you have to take good care of yourself and become your best. When you love yourself, you’ll feel less stressed out, you’ll grow as a joyful person. When you’re happy, you breed happiness in your workplace, you spread the joy to others, win-win situation yay!

“Loving yourself does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honoured guest in your own heart; a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.”- Margot Anand

3. Connect with yourself, listen to your intuition

Do you struggle with saying no? Do you find it difficult to reject helping someone even when you have tons on your plate already? How many times have you agreed to hang out with people you’re not particularly comfortable with? Learning to reject politely has challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection as well as allowing me to discover what actually matters to me. I used to agree to things because I feel like I’m obligated to, even if those things don’t serve my values, even if I hear a clear no inside my head. I ended up feeling bone-tired drowning in my schedule. Listen to your intuition. Do the things that you want to do, the things that you gladly offer to help, this will make you feel good about yourself. On the other hand, when you do things because you feel like you’re obligated to, because you don’t want to disappoint another, chances are you’ll feel unappreciated or taken advantage of later.

Self-care is also about checking in with yourself regularly. Often, we neglect what was going on in our lives because we put our emotions aside, we always try to bounce back from turbulences in life thinking that we can deal with them later. Little did we know, all these negativity is consuming us little by little each day. Address them before they explode and get out of control. Journaling helps me to be completely honest with myself, it helps me to attend to things that I try to bury inside and helps me to get things out of my chest. When my mind is bombarded with intrusive thoughts that upset me, I'll write them down. I noticed ever since I started journaling, these thoughts have become more manageable and easier to get rid of. Journaling helps me to have a better control over my thought processes, helps me to think more constructively as well as helping me to stay authentic.

Before I end this post, just a friendly reminder that taking good care of yourself and loving yourself is paramount to success. Self-care and self-love is a journey. There’s no instant method to fully accept yourself and to be pleased with yourself completely, there will still be days when the hypercritical voice in your head comes back, but you have to fight it back. Don’t let that self-hatred, self-doubt voice spiral and amplify.

The gasoline doesn’t run your car. It has to become a vapour first, it has to change before it becomes empowered, just as your mind has to change before your world moves to where you want it.