Use Fear As YOUR COMPASS

If you’ve read my last post, you’d know that I’m currently embarking on a new journey which is completely different from what I’ve set to do since the beginning. This change of direction has made me feel very stressed and discontented. However, it has also propelled me forward in my self-discovery journey where I took the responsibility of taking better care of myself and prioritizing my mental health. I’ve come to a point where I feel more at peace with myself. I’m able to overcome the toxic self-criticism and actually embracing my imperfections. I’m no longer held back by the things that usually hold me down and I care less about what others think of me.

If you know the Cass back then in high school, you’d picture me as this energetic ball of happiness that has a lot of friends and can socialize with anybody as well as hanging out with anyone. I honestly don’t know how I did that. The Cass right now is at the other end of the spectrum where I enjoy being alone more than being around people. I go café hopping alone, I travel alone, I eat alone, I basically do everything alone to the point where my family members are worried because they think I don’t have any friends.

I’ve spent almost a year trying to have a grasp of what makes me happy and what are the things that are important to me. One of the things that I really enjoy doing is listening to my friends’ problems as well as providing support and encouragement through their dark times. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that I’m like an angel who’s selfless or a person with a big heart nor am I trying to say I’m a good life advisor. I’m just expressing the importance of spending quality time with yourself looking inward and doing all the internal digging to find out what sparks joy in your life, to discover your life purpose.

So, here I am doing what sparks joy in my life, which is sharing my thoughts and experiences with the world. I wanted to start a blog for a very long time, but I held myself back because of two main reasons:

1. I have a tendency of giving up halfway through things. I’m not persevering enough.

2. I’m afraid of being judged by others. I don’t want people to perceive me in a negative way and misunderstand who I am. I’m afraid people would call me an attention seeker.

And then one day I just came to the realization that you know what, I will let go of the fear and try it out since it’s something that has been on my mind for a long time and I really wish I could help someone out there to feel that they are not alone no matter what situation they are in. I want to let people know that it’s okay to feel not okay and it’s okay to talk about negative things in life. Although my blogging journey is considerably new, and it often feels like nobody is reading. I kept pushing myself in the spirit of not letting fear and doubt hold me back from doing what I want to do. There are days where I felt like giving up because I was afraid of people disapproving of my ideas and because the results are not what I imagined it to be. Until recently I received messages from friends who I haven't spoken to in years and from strangers who I've never talked to about how they were able to resonate and relate with what I write. That feeling was magical, those messages meant so much to me. Yes, I know it's not a big achievement but I'm happy that I'm able to help some people, to inspire them to keep going.

So if you're like me trying to discover your passion and interests, don't be afraid to explore new things. Use fear as a compass to chase your dreams. If you’re scared of doing something, it usually means that’s exactly what you should be doing. Take the risk to do it because it will lead you to beautiful places as long as you put your full heart into it and believe in yourself. Remember that, done is better than perfect. Don't let the chase of perfection hold you back from starting, things aren't always as bad as you imagine it to be. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

"Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have" - Louis E. Boone